Carter's Story - Part II

On January 25, we brought your ashes home to be with us where you should be. Our thoughts are to bury your ashes (or scatter them) with ours when we pass on to be with you forever in heaven.

I still miss you a lot, every day as much as the day before. Daddy and I are both not sleeping well. I went back to work for the first time yesterday. I will go back part time for the next couple of weeks to get past your original due date of February 13.

Sometimes I feel like you are still with me. I still wake up and expect to be pregnant with a rude awakening when I am not. At least I have a good metabolism and don’t look pregnant (I thanked Grandma Lori for that).

I’ve been trying to do a lot of things for you – as much as I know how. I made a tribute to you through this website. I put your picture in a frame with my favorite poem (one for home and one for work). I made a CD of songs that remind me of you. I scanned all of your ultrasound photos and Polaroid photos so that I would have them forever. I lovingly wrote your obituary – this was hard to write but I think it turned out very well.

Yesterday, I finally found a scrapbook at Hallmark to use for your photos and other memories. It is blue with toys on it and reads “Pictures to Treasure”. I was actually leaning towards a different one but I felt as if you would like the blue one better – it was as if you picked it out yourself.

Your Dad wants to get a tattoo on his chest in remembrance of you. He has some really cute ideas. I will post the final version here when he gets it.

We are getting a lot of cards and e-mails from everyone. Everyone at work wants to pitch in and dedicate something to your name. I will post it here when we decide what to do. Some people at Aunt Kodie’s work planted a tree in your name. Great Aunt Trin and Brenna keep a candle lit for you and will plant something for you in the spring. Great Uncle Tony and Aunt Kathy are going to donate children’s books to the library in your name. We are also going to donate some money towards children’s heart defect research. All of this is very special.

I miss you and I love you forever, ever and always,

Mommy